Flames of Judgment
by John Wandalist
Summary: Naruto Game Fic. Naruto comes home after he got defeated in the taijutsu tournament. After ranting on how he can't get stronger, a blue screen suddenly appears in front of his face,and it said "New Game?"
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:I don't own Naruto or Legaia 2**

**After reading some Naruto "Gaming Life" fanfics,I'm interested to make one,I'm gonna use Legaia 2 system as the basis,so expect Origins,Cooking and things like that.  
**

**My other fic,Realization is currently on hold,why?...because there are too many ideas I'm still having trouble with it!**

**I won't get to serious and entering "the shitty part" of Naruto canon(things like Uchiha revenge,stupid crush,Politics,and the heavy things,sure,I may include those Akatsuki,minus the "Talk no Jutsu",of course**

**"****Lee is so badass Kishimoto has to downgrade his awesomeness because The Edgelord felt threatened"Kyuubi/Game Instructions**

_"__Obito is basically someone with no talent and pathetic taijutsu,he only rely on the power of his Pink Eye,pffftt..Hard Work is so overrated"_Thoughts

**CHAPTER I**

**NEW GAME!?**

Naruto Uzumaki,10 years old academy student,the infamous prankster extraordinaire,holding his stomach in grimace.  
Shinobi Academy just ended few minutes ago and he still feel the effect of the lesson.  
The academy held an annual Taijutsu competition,students are competing against each other,and Naruto was on the team consist of himself,Sasuke Uchiha the top student,Kiba Inuzuka who's Taijutsu come close with the raven-haired Uchiha,and Chouji Akimichi,the fa.. big boned boy who,despite lacking speed possess enormous power behind his punches.  
Those who are placed on the same team must defeat each other and those who held most win may proceed to the next stage

The obnoxious wannabe shinobi lost all of his 3 matches,ended up eliminated early,he felt irritated due to multiple things:Kiba's attitude after winning the match,Sasuke condescending look,and Chouji's punch to his stomach.  
Its hurts like hell,dattebayo!

"Man,no matter how much I try,I can't come close to those three when it comes to Taijutsu"Naruto mumbling to himself while ignoring the looks of people who seemingly hate him for reason unknown to him.

"Ninjutsu wise,I can't even beat that lazy ass Shikamaru,stupid academy and it's bunshin"

_"__I can't even complete the handseals for Genjutsu,I can't even dispel one for the life of me,just what kind of ninja am I?"_

Naruto arrives at his apartment,admiring the graffiti on the wall,then enter his room

"I'm not in the mood for training,enough shinobi-esque things for the day"Naruto throw himself to the bed and start reminiscing his defeat

"It's just not fair,how can I know if I get stronger or not?.Training by myself doesn't gave me any notable improvement"Naruto huffed in exasperation

"Not to mention I want to take the Genin exam this year,I want to be a ninja as soon as possible"Naruto thinking about his weaknesses

_"__My taijutsu sucks,that written exam is guaranteed to be difficult as hell,I always get low score in Bukijutsu,let's not talk about Ninjutsu parts,arggghh..that damned Bunshin is just impossible to do!"_Naruto get even more depressed he literally has dark cloud above his head

"If only getting stronger is just as easy as leveling up in RPG,then I won't have any trouble,I'm awesome at games,after all"

**PING**

"Where's that sound come from?"

When a blue screen appeared in front of his face,Naruto blinked

"Great,I'm so desperate of my life then it suddenly turned into a game,what an apt hallucination"

**"****Start a New Game?!"**

_"__Hmm,I think it's an advanced Genjutsu,or I'm already fall asleep and this is my dream..meh,what do I have to lose,it's not like I can do any worse than this"_ He pressed the "Yes"

The screen disappeared in a second then reappear

N**aruto Uzumaki **

**The Annoying Loudmouth Brat**

**LV = 5**

**EXP = 20**

**NEXT = 84**

**HP = 280/1000**

**MP = 480/480**

**CH/AP = 10000/999999**

**STR = 25**

**DEF = 40**

**AGI = 48**

**CHA = -100**

**INT = 2**

**MEN = -2**

**HIGH = 55**

**LOW = 37**

**WT = 3/100**

"What the fuck?,the annoying loudmouth brat?!..what the hell is these cha,men,int stuffs?"

**"****Pressed a certain stats will shows the detail to ease your gameplay,or you can always pressed the "details on everything" if you find it tedious to pressed one by one"**

"Oh,that's convenient!.Show me your secret,oh wise blue screen!"

He tapped the option

N**aruto Uzumaki **

**The Annoying Loudmouth Brat= Nickname is essential,especially in the battlefield,try your best to get the most intimidating nickname to scare the shit of your foes!**

**List of Nicknames:**

**The Annoying Loudmouth Brat=Originally come from those who saw how you act in your everyday life at the Academy**

**The Orange Menace=Originally come from Shinobi and Civilians you've pranked.  
Improve your pranking skill to reach the "Prankster King" nickname!**

**Demon Brat=A confusing nickname comes from Shinobi and Civilians who seems to hold a grudge against you.  
Unveil the mistery behind this nickname !**

**LV = Character's level. When it goes up 1, all stats increased.**

**EXP = Total experience points accumulated (you may get experience by fighting,killing,and training)**

**NEXT = EXP points needed for a level-up**

**HP = Character's "life". If it hits 0, you cannot act in battle. Game Over!**

**MP = Character's "magic". If it his 0, you cannot use MP skills**

**CHR/AP = Used for art combos. If it hits 0, you cannot use non-Normal arts(if the player chose AP).**

** Used to throw jutsu. If it hits 0,you can't perform any,and your life is in danger due to chakra exhaustion.(If you chose CHR)**

**STR = Strength. Affects power of physical attacks**

**DEF = Defense. Affects power against physical attacks**

**AGI = Agility. Affects your speed in fighting,how well you avoid attacks and likelihood of escaping**

**CHA = Charisma. Affects various functions (such as dialogue options,how people looks up up you,your popularity with girls and shops)**

**INT = Intelligence. Affects the way you approach the fight,how you formulate the strategy to ensure your victory**

**MEN = Mental prowess. Affects magical/special attack defense(example:Genjutsu)**

**HIGH = Upper Defense (UDF) rating for attacks that are aimed to your upper body **

**LOW = Lower Defense (LDF) rating for attacks that are aimed o your lower body **

**WT = Equipment piece's weight. Can't be equipped if more than max capacity**

"Huh,so that's how I got my nickname,wait,my INT,CHA,and MEN are so low!,does that mean I'm a stupid brat with no charisma and weak mentality?

**"****Good to know you're able to use your brain for once,brat,I thought your brain simply exist for decoration"**

"Huh?,the game can talk!,awesome!.What's your name?"

**"****No you pathetic ningen!,it's me"**

"Who?"Naruto looks around,he can't find the source of the voice he just heard

**"****Of all things,why do I get a clueless container?,why I can't I get a badass container?"**

"What container?,are you the goddess of Ramen?,im sorry for throwing away ramen I just bought yesterday!,they're already expired,I swear!

The slap can be heard,it's seems like whoever talking to the Ramen-lover boy can't restrain the urge to facepalm

I would never betray you,Ramen-chan!,you have to understand that I have to threw those expired cup ramen,because the last time I eat them it gave me horrible stomachache.  
Don't worry,you're the only one for me!,other food pales in comparison with your divinity!

**"****I give up,get over here,squirt!"**

"Wha-"

Naruto suddenly found himself in a dark place full of kinda resemble sewer,why does Naruto know about that?,because he got a punishment to clean a sewer in Inuzuka's compound after he pranked them by throwing lots of balloons filled with of cheap perfumes to their faces and literally makes them cry.  
They have sensitive nose,after all

"This is..weird..,is this part of my apartment?.i don't remember It has any sewer"

**"****Welcome to my humble abode,shrimp"**

"That voice again,where does?..wait,what a cool-looking cage"

**"****That's it,brat,come closer"**

When Naruto standing in front of the mighty cage,the creature inside lets out a mighty roar

"…"

"…"

"Cool!,can you do that again,please?"

The creature shocked,is this kid for real?.Even a grown up Shinobi lost his bladder function when he roars,yes,he's that awesome!

**"****Hmm,you're a brave one,Gaki…let's see if you can do the same when you see this"**

The creature stepped forward,and Naruto gasp when he saw a huge animal,in all fours,it's 9 tails wiggling.  
It has cute-looking ears!

Kyuubi is enjoying the expression of his container,he can detect any negative feeling,and right now,he can't felt any of the sort from the boy in front of him. Huh ...That's...weird

"Kawaii"Naruto's expression change into a happy face,just like when Teuchi-jiji serving him his favorite Miso Ramen

"Nee-Nee!,Usagi-chan,what are you doing behind the cage?,is someone bad locking you up?,don't worry,I'll release you!

Kyuubi is a menacing creature,he can fire bijuudama that obliterates anything,his claws can destroy any armor,a single swipe of his tail can broke a mountain and raise tsunamis.  
It's why he's famous as "The Strongest of All Bijuu",and got a nickname "Demon Fox" and this pipsqueak dare to call him a cute rabbit-chan?,i-it's not like he's happy or anything!

**"****What did you just say?"**

The kid actually has the nerve to look sheepish and scratch the back of his head

"I'm sorry,I don't know your name,but you do look like one!,I meet one of your friend in the forest near training ground,its not as big as you but it does has the same fur ,the name's Uzumaki Naruto,by the way!

**_How dare he call me Usagi-chan!,I'm the mighty Kurama dammit!_**

**_"_****_Wait,what did you said at the beginning?"_**

"I said I want to release you, It's must be lonely to be trapped like that,right?,now where's the key?

**_"_****_Hmm,maybe I can make use of this situation" _****Kyuubi started to think about how he can reach his freedom**

**"****That right,brat,it's so lonely here,i want to play outside so bad.  
That blond man is such a meanie...  
Can you help me?" **Lies and Deceit are the traits any fox have,after all,and he's the strongest of them all!,oh yes,he can manipulate this naïve boy to his bidding!

"Of course Usagi-chan"

**"****There should be a paper in front of my cage ,can you see it?"**

"Yep!,let's see,it has a writing on it,it S…E..A...L..Seal ?

**"****That's the one,now rip it off and release me!,after that,I'll be your friend!"**

"You will?.Sweet!, I finally have someone to call friend!"Naruto jumped and ripped the seal cleanly,faster than someone who tried to stop him

The sewer rumbles and start to distort. Kyuubi has the biggest smiles he ever shown in centuries


	2. Chapter 2

**My,it's been a long time,isn't it?**

**Don't worry,it's not The End,I simply have so little time to write fanfics,despite those cursed plot bunnies haunt me everyday!,  
I plan for this fic to be epic in the number of chapters,you know^^**

**Anyone notice how HUGE the difference between Naruto regular series and The Last?,for once,animator does an impressive job on the character's personality,perhaps because Kishimoto watch them like a hawk :P**

**Here comes the chapter 2!**

**"****Naruto would be sooooo much better without dat stupid love triangle&amp;muh darkness" **Kyuubi/Game Instruction

"_Kishimoto made the eternally sexy and deliciously single Anko Motherfucking Mitarashi a fatass at the end of the series?...FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!"_Thoughts

**CHAPTER 2**

**MORAL IS OVERRATED**

"What have you done, Naruto?"A blonde-haired man who wears a coat with fire licked at the bottom suddenly appeared and start lecturing Naruto about seal and how dangerous they are

"Oh no, Sochi" A beautiful woman with a very long red hair appears beside the blonde man who just entering the first chapter of "The Origin of Seal, blah blah blah"

"Huh?, what are you two doing here?, is this where you live?,how much do you pay for the rent?"

"No Naruto, we are in your mindscape" The older blonde answered

"My mind….what?"

"What I mean is, this place is your subconscious" The beau-manly blond patiently answered

"What are you talking about?, sub..be clear and stop talking like an alien, Mr Pretty Boy!" Naruto shouted.  
Just what the hell is this crossdresser talking about?, his head starts to hurt, just like when Iruka-sensei using mathematics to explain the speed and the angle when throwing a kunai, how is that even relevant?, all you need is hit your target!(in Naruto's books)

The red-haired woman smiling, then it turns into a grin, then she starts to snicker, finally she can't hold it anymore and let out a full-blown laughter

"Ahahahaha, oh that's rich!, even Naruto thinks you're a bishounen!, oh god my sides!"

Meanwhile the victim of the jokes can only twitch his facial muscle to stifle his anger, he always have a soft spot for that nickname, hell, the first time he met the girl who later becomes his wife, she started spewing lots of derogatory nicknames that caused a harsh blow to his self-esteem, even his sensei joins in make fun of him.

"Now Naruto, isn't it bad to call an alpha like me pretty? look at me closely, I'm the epitome of manliness!"

"You're right, I'm sorry to call you a pretty boy, you're that kind of girl who dress up like a man, didn't you?...what are they call it ,a tomboy?...but your voices can't lie, no matter how much you change your appearance"

"Ahahahaha!, oh stop it Sochi!, you're killing me" The freely laughing woman now lies on the ground when holding her sides

The "man" in question is now on full-body trembling, and he's so close to convulsing, all because the orange-jumpsuit boy who simply don't have any respect to his elder

**"****As much as I hate to disrupt your family reunion, I kinda have something more important to do, like achieving my freedom"**

Suddenly ,chains starts appears out of nowhere, pinning the "Usagi-chan" to the ground

"Stop interfering our heartfelt moment, you overgrown pet!, can't you see we have the moment of our life here?"The red-haired woman felt annoyed that someone disturbing her first ever family gathering

_Kyuubi start rambling in a low voice ,no, he doesn't have single shred of fear to that atrocious red-hair, he's just feeling generous at the moment ,so he kept himself from joining the conversation, after all, this is their last moment together.  
About the chains which restrict him? , nah, he simply let it happen, there are a few itching spots in his back that his hands and tails can't reach, and the chains are doing a great job to scratch them  
. About him sprawling in the floor?...nah ,he 's just felt tired, being locked in this lousy cage is hard on his beautiful body, so this is simply his form of relaxation  
.He's the infamous Kyuubi no Yoko ,there's no way a puny human can hold some kind of control of him.  
Suspecting him to be afraid of that fiery redhead is ridiculous,his trembling hands isn't the result of fear,he's brimming in excitement,due to his imminent freedom  
He decided to show those inferior species that Patience is a Virtue, after all, he's already waiting for over 10 years for this moment of freedom, so additional hours of waiting won't hurt ,he's definitely doesn't scared of the woman or anything!_

"Enough of this, both I and Kushina don't have much time, so we'll start explaining, Naruto ,I'm your father, My name is Namikaze Minato"

"So the tomato lady is my mother?"

"What did you just say?" Kushina gave Naruto her sweetest smile, for those who know her, this is the moment of" Repeat what you just said, I dare you, then I'll take you to meet your greatmaker in most painful way".The "Tomato" nickname is something Kushina wish to erase from his past,because she kinda see the resemblance herself when she looks at her own reflection in the mirror in her younger days,Kushina doesn't have any sense of fashion,so she design her long hair in a way that spark her infamous nickname ,the one who gave that nickname already dealt with,and no longer wish to speak about his opinion on impulse,those nice scars on the cheek and the forehead does help.

"Now now, don't be so mad about that Kushi-chan, he's just a kid and this the first time he met you" Minato appears to be wise, but inside his head the chibi version of him is doing a victory dance.

_"__That's what you get for laughing and doubting my manliness, muahahaha!"_

"But, how did that possible?, Suzume-sensei said that babies delivered by a kind stork, which is the reason why I don't have any parents"

"Sochi, don't tell me you've never had "The Talk" yet?"Kushina looks worried about her son education

"Jiraiya-sensei or Hiruzen-ojii should have given them" Minato had a sad look, does this mean that the son he wish to be regarded as "The Hero" didn't even get proper education?

"Jimaiya and Hirujen?, I've never met them in my life!"Naruto looks confused

"Just what are you learning in the academy, Sochi?"Kushina almost afraid to ask, because she already predicted the answer

"Eh, mostly they teach us about history, then 3 academy jutsus, Bunshin, Kawarimi, and Henge, Bukijutsu lesson and practice, some taijutsu lesson and then spar, then my favorite, stealth training"

"What?,how come?,I didn't know The Academy's standard can drop that low in the span of 10 years!"

"What standard,Tomato-lady?"

_"__Calm down ,don't deliver bodily harm to him,he is your sochi"_The Academy at the time of 3rd Shinobi War covers a lot of things,are you sure those are he only things you've learned?

"Well,they actually taught basic ninja wire,how to detect and dispel genjutsu,map reading,drawing,anatomy,sex education,flower arranging,those complicated mathematics and algebra,and the most useless thing to learn as a Shinobi,history"

_"__Still not enough,back then The Academy taught everything to survive a war"_So,why don't you learn them?,don't tell me you ditch the class"Kushina said with a threatening tone

"I wish I could,but the instructor always throw me out of the class!.When they let me be in rare occasion,they throw me out because I raise my hand to ask about something,or put me in a detention"

Now Kushina enraged"See Minato,this is why I'm always against your decision to seal that furball to our son!,you simply put way too much trust to the village and it's residents!, look at what they done to my sochi!"

"I never know it's gonna be like this,Kushina,I wish for him to be viewed as a hero"

"and look at his body,how old are you now,sochi?"

"Eh,I'm 10- year old"

"See Minato,he's 10 year old now but has the height of a 6 year old!,if it's not the sign of severe malnutrition then I don't know what is!"

"Hey don't talk bad about my height,tomato-lady!,besides it's not my fault!"

"What do you mean by that,son?.You realize that in order to grow properly,you need to eat a lot of nutritious and balanced meal,like meat and protein,and don't forget milk to strengthen your bones"

"The shops never let me!,and the money jiji gave me can only afford a few cups of ramen and a glass of milk!,thank god Teuchi-jiji ramen stand!,they gave me a cheap price for the delicious ramen!"

"You know what,I wanna say "I TOLD YOU SO!" but I simply don't have the spirit anymore,what the heck did that perverted hermit do?,drown himself in his research and leave our son alone?, we should have give the role of godfather to someone responsible like Choza,he'll never let our son like this"

"Yes,I know,I fucked up,and I can't think of a way to make it up to him ,our time is limited Kushina,so say what you want to say to Naruto"

"Well,I-"

"So,you two are my parents?,for real?,how did that happen?"

Kushina&amp;Minato knows it's time for "The Talk",so Minato took the role of "responsible father" and start it with the typical:"Well,when a man and a woman loves each other very much"

After a long&amp;exhausting,very detailed explanation,Minato finally finished.

"So,do you have any question?"

"Yes,what is love?"

If Kyuubi isn't busy "relaxing" himself,he would facepalm,with all of his tails,the detestable blondie and redhead devil already gone through a lot of things in their explanation and the shrimp doesn't even catch anything?,he would hate to be in their position right now.

"Uh,Minato?,I hate to say this about my own flesh and blood,but it seems to me me that you should keep it simple,and don't use any hard words,his brain can't handle it…yet"

"Err"

One thing everyone knew about Minato,he is a genius.

The genius always have the same problem,when they face something that outside their calculation,they simply don't know what to do and then hit the panic button,in his panicked state,Minato said

"Well,my testic-err,my balls has sper-I mean stuffs that makes babies?"Now it sounds more like a question rather than an explanation

"Well,what is the Tomato-lady role in this?"

"Well,when mommy and daddy ready to have you,Iputmydickinyourmommysvagina!"

Kushina sputtered in embarrassment,geez,can Minato be any more subtle about this?

Naruto needs a time to process his words,then he comes with a million dollar question

"What is dick?"

"It's,uh-the thing you use when you uri-emm,take a piss"

"Huh,what is my toilet have to do with making babies?"

"No,not that sochi,what your father wants to say is,the-ummm,things you have inside your pants"

"My underwear?,so my underwear can make babies?,awesome!"

"You got that wrong son,it's the thing you have inside your underwear"

"Oh,you mean my pee-pee!,why don't you just say so?"

_"__Safe"_Both of them thoughts in unison

"Ok I know what dick is,so,what's a vagina?"

"It's the thing only woman has,in the same place of your pee-pee"

"Ok,and how does it look like?,I've never seen one!"

_"__Goddamn,what a wild question,how can I explain to him about that?"_Minato is in a dilemma

A light bulb appears inside Minato's mind "I know,Kushina,show him yours!"

"Wait, WHAT?!,Minato you can't be serious!,I'm his mother!,it's utterly embarrassing to show that to my adolescence sochi!"

"Well,how do you think we can show him one?,geez..in times like this,I wish I have Jiraiya-sensei's Icha-Icha:Bird and Bees Edition"

"This is the first time I agree with you about that horrible excuse of literature"

"So what do we do now?,we don't have much time left"

"I have an idea!,Kagebunshin!"

"Nice one,Minato!,but whose body are we gonna use as the model?'

They're in a bind,Kushina trying to find someone whom she'll never jealous of,and Minato actually have lots of recommendation,especially Mikoto,but he's too afraid to say it out loud,he still want his important appendage intact,thank you very much.

After a long thinking,Kushina finally come to a candidate

"How about showing our sochi the body of Tsunade-baachan?"

Minato took time to process what Kushina just said,no he's definitely NOT thinking about those gigantic bazongas!

"What?,Kushina I can't do that!…she's like a mother I never have!...doing that feels simply wrong!.

"Well if you're too much of a prude fine then,I'll be the one who'll show him"

Kushina putting the handsign and yelled"Kagebunshin no Jutsu!"

"Before I henge my clone and show sochi everything about a woman body,Minato can you turn around please?,don't even hope to peek or I'll show you hell way beyond what you experienced in Shinigami's stomach"

Minato quickly turn around.  
Some of his friends may call him "whipped" but actually he's not,he simply respect Kushina,and he definitely not looking forward to the torture,the risk he would have take is simply heavier than what it's worth,but he can't help but curious to see what Jiraiya-sensei refer to "The Pair of Boobs from another dimension"

When Minato is battling with his own desires,Kushina instruct her clones to henge into The Slug Sannin.  
Kushina knows Tsunade's three sizes because they often visit hot springs together,and she did receive quite a blow seeing her own defeat in terms of..you know.

"Now sochi,first I'm gonna show you which part of woman's body that are different from their male counterpart"

"Okay"

"You,open your clothes,now!"

The clone simply did what her master asked

_Kyuubi has to maneuver one of his tail to cover his nose,no,he doesn't have a nosebleed,it would be silly if a demon lord feels aroused seeing those fine piece of-no, pathetic parts of those miserable weakling human.  
He's just catching hay fever,so his nose is totally runny right now._

"Amazing!,what is these part called?"Naruto looks excited,mainly because now he got an explanation about new things.

"That sochi is commonly called breast,however people do have other names for them,such as boobs,fun airbags,dairy pillows,knockers,titties,milk jugs, Chitty bang bangs,or whatever you want to call them"

Meanwhile,Minato can't help but overhears the conversation,and can't help but insert his own reaction,internally

_"__Tsunade-bachan boobs are definitely Zeppelin,I'm 100% sure!"_

"But Kaa-san,those breast are gigantic!,I think one of them is bigger than my head!,how does that possible?"

"Oh sochi,you finally call me Kaa-san!"Kushina flying tackle Naruto to the ground,she's brimming in happiness now.

Minato has different reactions,when he heard what his son said,his nosebleed gushes uncontrollably.

_"__Calm down,just calm the fuck down Minato!,Tsunade is like a mother to you,remember?!"_

While Minato is fighting a losing battle,Kushina starts to explain

"Every woman has their own sizes, the model I use here is simply born lucky,that's all."

"Can I see yours,Kaa-san?"

Minato,who finally able to control his own nosebleed by ripping the sleeves of his coat and use them as a plug,attacked with an even greater force of nosebleed.

_"__The weather is hectic and stormy with a chance of wincest"_is what replaying in Minato's mind now

"Sure,Sochi,here,feast your eyes on this"Kushina open the top of her dress

"Wow,I like yours better,Kaa-san!.It's cherry blossom pink and definitely perkier than the model!"

"For that compliment alone,I'll let you touch them as you please,come on,don't be shy"

"Wow,it feels like the paws of a pug I've found in the training ground,so soft"

Kyuubi is grinning from ear to ear_ " finally,a worthy entertainment"_

Minato only have a single thoughts _"Gods and above,you're very cruel to me,why don't you let me watch?...Kami answer me!"_

"Okay that's enough,now let's move to the next part"Kushina said with a bated breath

Kushina couldn't help but think _"I was so close,no control yourself Kushina!,don't taste the forbidden fruit!...It's forbidden for a good reason!"_

_"__I won't show sochi my most treasured part,thank god for the clone"_

"Now,clone-chan,strip!"

The clone did what she asked.

_"__Well,that vixen is a true Senju"_Kyuubi said.  
What Kyuubi refer to is the pubic hair of the clone,who bears a perfect symbol of Senju clan,in blonde hair,of course.

_"__Right,I forgot how loyal Tsunade-baachan is towards her clan"_Kushina deadpanned

_"__In times like this,I really wish I've learned Sage Mode"_Minato lamented

"Right,pay attention, is the part called "Vagina".Kushina pointed the part with a stick which she got from who knows where

"However,that only the serious name of it,like the breasts,people also have other names for it,such as:Honey Pot,Flower Petal,Meat Wallet,Cunt,Pussy,Venus Fly Trap,whatever you want to call them"

_"__I prefer to call that Pink Tacos"_Minato put his own two-cents,inside his mind.

_"__Ha!,The Abyss is much more cooler!,or Chasm of DOOM!"_Kyuubi is a millennia-old,so his language is totally different from normal human,but fyi,the author kinda like how that sounds.

"Oooh,so that how it looks like,what is this yellow fur doing down there,Kaa-san?"

"That's not a fur,you silly!...that is the pubic hair,you'll get them when you start to enter the adulthood,now why don't you try to touch it?"Kushina is absent from her son's life for 10 years,so don't be mean to her!.  
She only wants to ensure her son get the proper education,even though it's morally wrong.

"It felt..prickly,is it normal,Kaa-san?"

"Yes,that's just how it is,now,why don't you move your hand lower and touch The Heart Shaped-Box"

"What?"

"Another nickname,do it!"

"Now do you see the holes?,the upper one is for urinating,the lower one is for fun things"

"Fun things?,I like doing fun things!,like what?"

"Uh,just ask your father later"

Minato cursed_"Why did she leave the hard part to me?"_

"Now,insert your finger to the lower holes"

"Ehhhh,I don't want to,isn't it hurt?"

"Don't worry,it's just a clone"

Minato desperately wanted to point out that no matter what the clone felt,the sensations gonna transferred back to the original when it dispel,but his pervy side won the argument so he let it slide.

"Okay"

"You're doing a good job,sochi!,you really are your father son"

"I do?,thanks Kaa-san!"Naruto rarely get an acknowledgement in his life,so its totally understandable why he's so happy about it,even thought he's now doing questionable things to his mother(clone).

"You have to pay attention to the clone reaction,find the weak spot that makes clone-chan shows different reaction!"

"Your wish is my command,Kaa-chan!"

By now Naruto move his fingers frantically,the sound alone is enough to make Minato has a severe case of bloodloss.

_"__I'm her husband,for crying out loud,why don't I allowed to watch,I envy you son,but I'm also proud of you!"_

_"__Oh my,this is hot,I should record this in my memory,I can use this when I enjoying myself at the fox realm"_If any of the readers still wondering if Kyuubi is a pervert or not,here's your answer.

"Now look again at the top of the clone's coochie,Sochi,can you see it?,no don't stop!"

"Yes I can,Kaa-san,what is it?,why is it come out now?,they're not there at the beginning,it's kinda looks like a pearl"

"That's my sweet sochi is Clitoris"

"Cli-?"

"Clitoris,it's only came out when a woman feels horny"

"What is horny?"

"That's a state when a woman ready to have babies,keep em up,looks like clone-chan is close!"Kushina keep encouraging her son

_"__Dear God,please have a mercy on this poor soul and make them finish whatever they're currently doing,I promise I'll be a good boy"_Minato is now kneeling because the size of his pants is…changing

"Ahhhhhhhhhh!"Kushina's clone scream pierced the heavens and make Aphrodite blush

_"__I'll do anything to get orgasm that intense,lucky human!"_

"Mommy,is the clone okay?"

"Don't worry, that 's the proof that you have a skilled fingers!"

"So what was that just now,Kaa-chan?"

"That sochi is an orgasm,a state when a woman is satisfied by his partners,lesson finished!.Minato,you can turn around now!"Kushina is happy getting the job well done

"Err,wait a sec,I'm not ready"

_"__Down boy!,down!"_

"Alright,thank for your service,clone-chan,you can dispel now"

"Wait Kushina don-"

The moment the clone dispel herself, it's Kushina's turn to feel her sochi ministrations

"Oh God what is this Aaaaahhhhhhhh"

_"__What the-again?,now I feel threatened"_Yep,it's the lovely Aphrodite.

"What happened?,is Kaa-chan okay Tou-san?"Naruto looks worried

_"__I want to hug you to show my happiness for calling me Tou-san,unfortunately my little dragon thinks otherwise,oh joy"_

"She's okay, just a little tired after the lesson"

"So,how exactly you made the babies again?"

"Well,when mommy and daddy ready to have you,daddy put his Vlad The Impaler inside mommy Slice of Heaven"

Naruto looks horrified at the revelation

"No No No!,Kaa-chan that's horrible,how could you let Tou-san do that to you?"

"Mmmmh,Ish Okaaayyy,'t feels gooood"Kushina slurred,still at the top of the world

"It feels good?,really daddy?

"Yes,it 's the moment you feel like a man,you know"Minato replied with a foxy grin.

"Come to think of it,Tou-chan?,what is Usagi-chan doing here?"

Minato starts explaining from the beginning,and ended it with a question if Naruto hate him.

"Eh,No..of course not,sure I feel lonely but no one did anything to harm me.  
It''s good to finally know who my parents are,even though you're not my idol"

"And who's your idol,son?"Minato appears calm but he cries internally

_"__Please whoever it was,don't let it be Danzo!"_

"Yondaime Hokage,of course"Naruto didn't recognize Minato because he never knew the real name of Yondaime.  
He doesn't even get the history books which include the portrait of Konoha no Kiiroi Senkou.  
The Library lady always throw him out,so his only information about his idol only comes from Jiji's heroic stories,and Yondaime face on the Hokage's mountain which become his most favorite place,whenever he felt sad or lonely,or when he wants to watch the pretty sunset and the beauty of Konohagakure from above

"…."

"…."

"Son,I am Yondaime"Minato twirl and show Naruto the back of his coat with the letter Yondaime Hokage engraved on his back"

Naruto eyes went wide,his dad is the infamous Yondaime!,and the next thing Minato knows is he currently in the ground and his son entrapping him in a bear hug

"Iamsohappy"Naruto repeated this over and over like a broken records.

_Kyuubi watching this scene with a sincere smil-a bloodthirsty grin in his face,he admit that this situation is adora-so disgustingly sappy he felt like plucking his eyeballs out_

Suddenly,a blue screen appears in front of him(the chains already released the moment Kushina..yeah)

**GAIN YOUR FREEDOM IN EXCHANGE OF BECOME THE PLAYER'S ORIGIN?**

**[YES] [NO]**

Kyuubi is an intelligent creature,he won't jump into the fire like an idiot,so he mutters

"Explanations of Origin"

**Origin is like a familiar exclusive only for the player,the example for it is Animal Summoning.  
The differences are Origin share his mastery,like if an origin has an advanced water elemental,he'll share the mastery with the player,unlike Animal Summoning however ,Calling for Origin doesn't waste chakra,but MP.**

"Ho, that means I can go back to Fox Realm and Gaki can call anytime he wants,as long as he has this MP-thingy,what if I say no?"

**Hakke Fuuin No Shiki will revert to the original state**

"So,basically,saying no means no freedom?..well,my choice is obvious"Kyuubi press the **YES**

Sandaime Hokage,Sarutobi Hiruzen,is having a good day.  
The paperwork is done,no pesky meeting with the "honorable" council,and no one come to report the mission.  
That means he can indulge himself on his hobbies,smoking his pipes and read a certain orange book of goodness,he's on the part where Keiko can't help but indulge in her guilty pleasure with Manabu behind her husband back,and now is the time of much appreciated steamy Kotatsu Stealth Sex scene.

_"__Ha,I dare someone or something to disturb my safe haven,I'll show them how scary The God Of Shinobi is!"_

The Murphy Law show it's power when a pillar of red light appears in the area of Naruto's apartment which located in Red Light district,along with the enormous and heavy chakra of Kyuubi no Youko.

Sarutobi only have two words to describe his feeling right now

**"****OH SHIT!"**

**Now to the million-dollar question!**

**Should I bump the rating to M? **

**EDIT:Rating Updated!**

**I Feel So Dirty and Used After Writing This...Just Kidding**

**Quote of The Day:**

**EMBRACE YOUR PERVYNESS!**


	3. Chapter 3

**I can't believe it's already been more than 1 year since my last update..where does the time goes?,i have no excuses...**

**Fair warning, i have a dirty mind and proud of it, i'll change the genre to parody since i definitely won't follow the hot mess which is commonly known as ,also, i like straight shota and MILF situation,got the hint?**

**Well,here comes the (dirty) chapter!**

**"I can't believe the girly Minato could land such a fine piece of ass Kushina,being a Hokage sure has great benefit"** Kyuubi/Game Instruction

_"Almost all of badass women in the series ended up single, old as fuck or fucking disappear from the face of the earth,and they said Kishimoto respect women"_ Thoughts

**_CHAPTER III_**

**_FOUNTAIN OF LIFE_**

"Anbu,get Tenzo and Dragon and tell them to go to the danger zone!"

"Hai,Hokage-sama"

When Hiruzen tried to shunshin,the door opened and the three honorable advisers come in a hurry

"Hiruzen,something happened with the container,we must take action now" said the old bat Koharu

"I was just gonna shunshin to the location when you intrude" Sandaime grumbles in annoyance.

"Then let us go now, i afraid the situation escalated quickly the more we waste our time here"said Danzo, the wily old man with thousand plans to create chaos in Elemental Countries "for the good of Konoha"

Three of them disappeared with a swirl of leaves,except Homura

"Hehehe,so Hiruzen is on the "Kotatsu Heaven" scene,huh?,i'm gonna enjoy this,its not like they need the pitiful old me when hundreds of shinobis are stationed there"Homura then sit on the Hokage seat while mumbling

"Life is good,especially when you're still with me,big fella"he said while looking at his crotch

"Danzo is a limp noodle i bet.  
I mean, how else you can explain his violence?,its like he's trying to compensate for something"the laughters filled the Hokage office afterwards,what?,you think no one guard the office during Hokage's absence?,how else they can guard forbidden scrolls and lots of secret documents of Konoha then?

**Meanwhile with Hiruzen&amp;co**

The three of them appears near the vicinity of the Naruto's apartment.  
They can clearly see the red pillar is raging and no one dare to come close to it.  
Hiruzen instanly know that someone is missing

"Where's Homura?"

"Dunno,perhaps he has to finish some business before coming here"Koharu shrugged.

Danzo felt weirdly irritated,like someone poking fun at his manliness

"Why do i suddenly want to assault Homura with my strongest wind jutsu?, don't worry my adorable Elephantine Chimera,you've done a great service for me during this 60 years,i won't let anyone insult you"said Danzo while looking at the direction of his...rusty kunai.

Two Anbu kneeled in front of them

"Orders,Sir?"

"Tenzo, i want you to prepare yourself to restraint anything that comes out from this pillar,use your entire chakra if necesary.  
Dragon, i want you to mobilized your troops to evacuate the civilians and tell Yamanaka clan to standby for massive numbers of memory wiping"

"Consider it done,Hokage-sama"Ah,its nice to see someone totally loyal to you,it will be perfect had they not use the robotic voice,though.

In The Mindscape

The ever awesome super sadistic ultra badass alpha as fuck of a fox can smell the freedom now,especially now the annoying cage is open,ha!.However, as he walk towards the exit,he remembered something really important.

"Hey,wait a sec!,gimme back my other half!,there's no way i'm gonna go back to Kurara being half of of a man i was!.She'll castrate me for sure!"Kurama ranted

_Kushina raised an eyebrow at this,Kyuubi has a gender,and a spouse too?,what has the world come into?,what next,the identity of the masked man that ripped Kyuubi off from her is little Obito-chan,Minato's student?.Yeah right,he's just as wimpy as his girly husband over there,he can't even form the words to confess his feelings to Rin._  
_First attempt,he fainted on the spot,second attempt is much better,at least he was able to said a few words before fainted when standing,third attempt would be much better had he not using a pick-up line commonly used for courtesans,which gave him a well-deserved swift kick in his twin rasengan.A man that type need a lifetime to prepare his heart,so a much bolder approach from the female is essential,unless they want to wait until Kishimoto fell out of love with Sasuke-chan,which will never happen._

"Who is this Kurara you're talking about,Kyuubi?.I believe you're a entity made of chakra,aren't you?,what do you need a partner for?,its not like you have a designated gender"Minato said with a tone of finality.

"You have a wife?, a jackass of a fox like you?"Kushina can't help but curious about .

"Of course i have, you take me as the forever alone type?.Back in my days i can get so many tails, being an alpha fox i am"

"As for your question,blonde tranvestite,you and your kin have no idea about us Bijuu"

"Enlighten me,then" said Minato with strain voice because he has to use his force to restrain Kushina who seemingly have something to settle with would like to tell his wife to "choose your opponent wisely" but decided not to because he value his bijuudamas safety.

"Very well, us Bijuus come from one source, ,during Juubi's rampage, its chakra spread all over the continent,changing the normal animal at that time to entirely new&amp;much bigger,but still the same is a snow fox who got hit by the chakra ,change her to a beautiful, prettier than goddess,alluring eight tailed white fox,damn, what I 'd give to take her down, connect our tails,bite her neck and fuck her relentlessly while my free tail entering her.."

"Err,a little less information,please?" Kushina suddenly felt very uncomfortable with Kyuubi's story, and the mental image her traitor brain sending right now totally not helping.

"So, you're saying that every single Bijuu has their own spouse?"

"Nah,Shukaku is deemed too ugly to that female raccon,Matatabi far too horny for that two tailed black cat to handle,Isobu far too lazy during the game his spouse got mad,injured his eye and storms off,Kokuo far too bizarre for any species,Saiken is the poster child of forever alone,only me,that monkey and Gyuki has is a bonafide lesbian"

Both Kushina and Minato entering deep shock after listening the story,bijuu do have a sexually active life,werent they?.They brought back to the land of mindscape when Naruto shouted

"What is Lesbian?"

Kushina looks at Minato"Our Sochi completely lack knowledge of the world,I'll try to teach him everything I know"Kushina states as she bring Naruto away to get some privacy.

The eerie aura suddenly appear along with the visage of The Shinigami,who for some reason have a knife on his mouth,like a real emo.

Minato,who wanted to join Kushina to share his own sagely wisdom,stopped in tracks and greet The Death God.

"Err,not like i complaing but,why are you here,Shinigami-sama"ask Minato with a confused expression

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Rrright,it seems that you're an extreme taciturn"What does he expect,Shinigami starting talking jovially like Jiraiya-sensei?

Shinigami raised his hands and shrouded himself in a purple mist for a brief moment,when the mist faded there's an old man who really resembling the Kung-fu master in the video Minato often watch with Kushina during their dates,and the new moves Kushina got from it that she aimed at him 's not as bad as when they finished watching ancient watching matches,the submissions!,figure-four leg lock from hell!.Minato shivered as he tried to supress the bad memories

**Meanwhile with Kushina&amp;Naruto**

"Alright Sochi,now Kaa-chan gonna explain about Lesbian."

"Okay Kaa-chan"Naruto's eyes shines never get an explanation or free lesson before,everyone tend to ignore him,get mad or called him idiot everytime he's curious about something,there were special cases when the people he asked blushing then storms off,what's the big deal?,he only asking about the definition of Lemon Party,the word he accidentally overhears when he was going home after training,from the place which had huge manly men in the super tight weird dress.

"Oh god he looks so excited,don't worry Sochi,Kaa-chan will do her best to inform you"Kushina then make a hand-sign to creates 2 clones of herself.

"Now listen carefully Sochi,lesbian or lesbianism is the kind of love that is different from the norm,as you can see,the normal kind that the majority of people know and accept is the love strictly between a man and a woman,however Lesbian is the situation when a woman can only feel attraction from another woman"Kushina uncharacteristically serious on this

"How it did work,exactly?,i know now that normal love involves peepee and whatizit from female,how did lesbian actually work?.

"Im glad you asked that,Sochi,i've prepared the real live lesson for you,watch carefully"

**Meanwhile with Minato**

"Ahaha,sorry,i forgot that you need to extract the Yin part from me"Minato sheepishly scratch the back of his head

"Let's make it quick,i've got something else to do after this"Shinigami wasted no time to pull the Kyuubi's Yin soul Minato's stomach

"Even so,i'm impressed that you're willing to do this,what exactly the benefit you get from this?"Kyuubi genuinely 's not everyday The Death God does micromanaging,after all.

"Well,the game said they gonna send me to the world of Samus Ar-i mean,i got certain benefits"The old man sputtered,Minato's respect for him just decreased a little.

Suddenly,melodious voices appears out of has his suspicion when both Kyuubi and Shinigami froze then immediately put on their rape face,he can't actually look back to where Kushina and Naruto are due to his current position,so he made a clone and ask him to dispel 's the plan at first,but the damn clone won't dispel himself, he prefer to watch whatever it was with a stupid look on his face and..is that a nosebleed?

"Oi the perverted clone of my mine,enough!,my curiosity is skyrocketing right now" Minato made a handsign to forcefully dispel the clone,but somehow the clone resisting then talk back.

"Screw you,original!,i have a very limited lifetime and you usually use me to test the faulty seals you've made, now i have this great entertainment and you want me to dispel?,No way Jose!"Minato clone furiously answered. Minato simply showing the rogue clone who's the boss by thowing the kunai with deadly accuracy, the clone instantly dispel then the nosebleed hit him like a freight train. It's all because Kushina got her clones to perform the Scissors of Justice,and she use a henge which made Mikoto and Hoshizora,the voluptuous Hyuuga beauty(You're a lucky bastard,Hiashi!) to be Scissors Sisters.

"What are they doing,Kaa-chan?"Naruto can't help but being dumbfounded by what the models doing,why are they rubbing their happy places together?,and what's this new tingly sensation?.

"That my sweet Sochi is how a lesbian couple express their love to each position is the most popular for the Garden of Lillies due to how intimate it can be and how fast you can reach the heaven,the serious name would be Tribadism"Kushina happily answered.

"Oh i almost forgot,i have to teach you about foreplay!,how silly of me"Kushina want her son to be well-prepared before he went to his love adventure and gave her a lot of grandbabies!, the thought alone bring her utmost happiness!

"What's a foreplay?, is it some kind of game?" Sweet,more lesson for me!,it's the best day ever!.Naruto thought

"In some way it is,Foreplay is the way you can lit the flames and make your partner get ready for the upcoming battle, if you're bad at it or being too forceful you'll be unpopular to the ladies, i don't want my precious become the enemy of women, after all" Kushina explained.

"But why, Kaa-chan?.I think i've seen people doing it before and to me it looks they're fighting for their lives"Naruto innocent reply made Kushina gasp.

"What?, you've seeon one before?,where?" Kushina looks frantic now, she doesn't want her Sochi to become like the old toad when he grow up.A man who can only bring woman to his bed with money , the only times he can feast his eyes on the glory of women's bodies is when he peeps them. A super (hopeless) pervert wonder Tsunade-oba don't want anything to do with him.

"Eh, i see it all the time, Kaa-chan, but i only understand it now after you and Tou-san explained to me" If there is one thing Naruto can't have on his life, it's tact.

Kushina is now in the state of heart attack

"Wait, let me try to understand it first,you see it all the time?, did you purposely peep whenever people doing it or is it your hobby, oh god my son has become a deviant!"Kushina panic mode activate.

"Eh, of course not, who does a bizarre hobby like that?. I live in an apartment in Kabukicho, are always new things to watch so i never get bored! Naruto nonchalantly answer.

The silence is so loud all they can hear is he voices of the clones reach their mutual climaxes due to to their merciless tribbing.

"What?, y-you live in the red light listrict?, who in the hell put you there?"Never in Kushina wildest imagination she would see her lovely live on the loveless zone, is a Hokage descendant really deserves that kind of life?

"Hokage-jiji gave the apartment to me after i was kicked out from orphanage, i finally have a place to call my own so It's no big deal"Again, Naruto missed the look of horror in his mother's face

"No big deal?, it is a big deal young man!, you grow up in the orphanage?"_ Kushina got a lot of friends during her time in Konoha, so what exactly Tsume,Hiashi, Inoichi and Karen,Yoshino and Shikaku and other friends who she finds troublesome to name it all are doing?.Why does she and Minato have to go all the trouble to ensure Jiraiya become Naruto legal guardian if he doen't even have a shred of care to take their son into his wing?, and what exactly possess them to think Jiraiya would make a great godfather despite all the signs pointing otherwise?. How preposterous!_

_Then about the facilities Hokage and his descendants supposed to Minato's small tint of leading the village,Kushina doesn't feel any still the same broke Jounin who can only bring her to Ichiraku Ramen._  
_Yes, she love Ramen but not all the time!, she wants to experience fine dining at the Caviar wouldn't shut up about it when Fugaku take her to their ultimate rare it wrong for her to be wanted to be spoiled rotten and living in luxury?, isn't Hokage has to be completely out of touch in term of wealth to make even the greatest merchant green with envy so people won't think Hokage position as "Fool's Job with mediocre payment"?._  
_In reality, she doesn't even get even a whiff of that , they even take her to the cave where she gave birth to her precious.A FREAKING Cave, what does they take her for, The Virgin Mary who about to give birth to Ninja Jesus?._  
_Not to mention, the security is 's the Hokage wife(even though they didn't expose that to the public) so shouldn't they gave her the greatest security to protect her so the enemies of Konoha wouldn't take advantage of their moment of weakness?, yet all she got is Biwako-baachan and 3 wet behind the ears medic wonder that masked man have it so easy._

"Hello, Earth to Kaa-chan?"Naruto called out, her mother have shown impressive array of facial expressions it's interesting but he's worried about her sanity.

"Oh, sorry Sochi, I had an internal thinking going on, so where was I?.Oh right, you grew up in orphanage?"

"Well, is actually good place to live, as long as you forget about the bullies and the landlord."Ah, the landlord, the one who gave Naruto the first lesson on life...Women are scary!

Minato also heard the conversation and have a real hard time to believe it, didn't he ask to make his son to be regarded as a hero with his final breath to Sarutobi?, so why he is living the life of a hobo?.Is it true that a shinobi can never be a good parental figure?

The heavy atmosphere blown away by the tasty clones, when Mikoto lick Hoshizora twin mochi elicited a moan that send shivers to ?,didn't you know Kushina swing both ways?.

_"Forget it, the lesson come ,it's not like i can't take revenge on that old monkey in the afterlife.I'll just ask Biwako-baachan to have a date with A the Third Raikage, I bet she'll find the experience rather…fulfilling"_Evil Kushina mode activate!

**Elsewhere with the Sandaime**

"What is this ominous feeling i'm getting?, it feels like i'm gonna get cuckolded big time!"Sarutobi shouted

Everyone in the vicinity got a sweatdrop in their heads.

Sarutobi look up to the sky

"Biwako-honey, are you still thinking about me?, i know it's lonely up there but i'll be there in a jiffy then we can be together again and this time no one can disturb us"Oh, if only he know what the future entails.

**Back to the Mindscape**

"Nee, Kaa-chan, what are they doing now?"Naruto asked, bringing back Kushina from her Evil plotting of dark matchmaker.

"Oh, that?.You see,Sochi, every has their erogenous zone,while it may varies to the individuals, usually teasing the great beauty mountains can make the lady ready to bring down the house,wanna learn that?"

"You betcha, Kaa-chan!"

After the heavenly distraction, the transfer resumed. However, it takes a long time it makes Minato bored out of his mind, and he can't look back because his position despite the sweetest temptation behind him, and- is Kushina explaining about how to tease a woman's nipples?, no no no, she won't go that far, besides, didn't she already said that she doesn't want to give too much stimulus to her adolescent Sochi?.

When Minato trying to logically understand Kushina's action, and the Yin transfer almost finished, suddenly he heard Kushina says

"You're right,Sochi,it's truly hard to learn something from theory only, if you can learn something just from watching, then I would be the greatest ramen chef in the world!"Kushina start considering her options.

_"Well, I can't really leave this to the clone, I mean, I really need to do a hands-on approach so Naruto can learn faster. If it means I have to put my body on the line, then I'll gladly do that with a big smile on my face, for Sochi!"_ You might think Kushina's thought process is strange, but the reason is simple, Love!, it's just as they say, There is no greater love in this world than a mother's love!.It totally had nothing to do with the author's perverseness!.  
at all.

"Oh no. don't tell me Kushina going to…" If Minato had to describe Kushina personality in one word, that would be stubborn. The moment she decide to do something, she'll put her greatest effort to do so without considering input from other people.

"Come here,Sochi"Kushina called her son over.

"Now, I'm gonna teach you how to arouse woman by stimulating their jugs, sure, you can use your hands, pinch their nipple or do other things, but trust me, it'll take quite a time to reach the destination, unless you had Hands of a Surgeon" Kushina expose her bare breasts for the second time, and Naruto could't help but admire their beauty.

"So,what should I do, Kaa-chan?" Naruto seems too eager for this lesson, Minato can tell from his voice alone, heh, like father like son, first time Kushina decided it's okay to go from second base to the revered third base, he simply lose control of everything, he can't be calm at all, it's like ordering a grizzly bear not to do anything to a plate of salmon of covered in Honey.

When Minato reminiscence about his good memories, Kushina already started the lesson.

"Listen carefully, Sochi. You can't just go and lick a woman's , point the tip of your tongue…then swirl your tongue around the nipple, that's it!, you're doing great, Sochi!"Kushina voice is in the middle of joy and arousal.

"Good lord, it's already starting, I must participa-err, stop them, yeah!"Minato tried to turn back, but Shinigami stop him with the force.

"It'll finished in a few moments, be patient"said the old man with his know-it-all voice of wisdom, or that's how it should be if he didn't have that..savage expression of doom(or horny monkey,but called him that would be inappropriate,Minato thinks)

"Now that you've succeed to start the fire, don't go straight to suck or even bite the nipples, it'll kills the mood, especially if you're doing it for the first time between you and your partner"Kushina explains in motherly tone.

"So, what should I do next,Kaa-chan?"asked Naruto as his arm can't stop to grab and squeeze the unattended of the twin.

"Let's see, have you ever had soft ice cream before?"Kushina said while patting her son's head.

"Yep, Hokage-jiji always brought me one after my birthday"Naruto multitasking now because his mother never ask him to stop what he currently doing.

"Good to try to imagine, what would you do if the soft ice crem starts to melt rapidly, how do you ensure to not wasting any of it?"I'm glad I can find an easy to understand analogy for Sochi, Kushina thought.

"Lick them all, of course!"Naruto start to do that, but he lick it all over the place.

"Now, that's incorrect,Sochi. The intensity is fine but you have to focus on one spot, in this case the start moving your tongue from lower to upper like how you save the ice cream"licking all over is good, but it's kinda feel ticklish, not the tingling sensation she's looking for.

"Okay,Kaa-chan"Naruto starts doing it with gusto, which surprised Kushina because she doesn't think her Sochi is such a natural at it, it is his first time doing this,right?

"Ahn"Kushina immediately over her mouth and felt embarrassed

"I hope he doesn't hear that, what kind of mother felt this way when she's giving lesson to her son?. I don't want Naruto to think of me as a bad mama."Sometimes, being bad is more preferred than started to stroke his imaginary Kungfu Master beard.

Minato however, reacts to the otherworldly song that is Kushina moan, as evident in his T-Rex waking up from its slumber.

"Keep it on your pants,queer.  
Nobody wants to see your Purple Homewrecker"Kyuubi put on his best "do not want" face.

"No, actually it red with a hint of pinkish"Minato trying to gauge the fox's reaction.

"Ha,pinkish?, what are you, a male virgin?.Wait, why do I have to discuss the color of your turtle head with you?"Kyuubi surely set himself up for that one.

"You started it"Minato internally laughing.

Meanwhile Kushina is relentlessly attacked by her son, in a good way.  
However, no matter how good it may be, Kushina still have to express her discontent

"Sochi, you really need to understand the concept of equality"said Kushina as she stopped Naruto in his track.

"Equality, what do you mean, Kaa-chan?" He did heard the word equality he overheard that the butcher's wife saying that word after caught by her husband along with 10 men in her room.  
Naruto thought they're just having a good tea time, so why does the butcher got really mad?.

"I mean you can't just focus on the right one when the left is lonely"said Kushina as she present the left Fruit of the Gods to her son's face.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Kaa-chan"Naruto started to work his magic on the previously sad mankillers.

"Good, now remember not to focus on one, try to alternate between both of them but remember to keep your A-game"Kushina said that with a chipper voice.

"Now seems to be the right time"Kushina touch her son's face and said the lyrical magical command.

"Now Sochi, you are cordially allowed to suck, bite and most of all, shower them with love"Kushina said that with a nice face of the female version of pervert.

Having heard that, Minato determined not to lose any chance to watch the view, so he made a clone, command it to stand still, and tried his hardest to make his new jutsu ,voila!.He now able to see everything from his clone's eyes.

"Don't bite it too hard,okay?,use a minimum force possible, like when you're playbiting"getting your Marshmallows biten to the point of leaking the strawberry jam is never a good thing.  
Minato did it once when he overexcited then have to accept the embrace of the couch for weeks.

Naruto start to lightly bite, then proceed to eyes widened when he taste something new, yet strangely nostalgic flavor coming out from it.

"What you taste now is Mommy's milk, I never had a chance to gave one in my life for you so drink it to your heart's content, my lovely"Kushina said as she stroked her son's hair.

Naruto proceed to do so, he drinks like a traveler stranded in a desert for months before he find the oasis.  
He drink so much making Kushina starts feeling the heat from her lower core.

_"Oh no, don't touch the Velvet Underground,Kushina._  
_What kind of Mother pleasure herself while breastfed her son?"_Kushina tried to will herself against it, however her hand have other ideas.

To the eye of others,it will normally looks like a mother giving breast feed to her overgrown son.  
However,Minato's expert eyes saw things differently,especially when he saw Kushina struggling keep her hand from playing her heavenly instrument.

**You've drank the Fountain of Life!.**  
**INT increased by 10!.**

Naruto paid no mind to the news, even when the message multiplies.  
He had better thing to do,Dattebayo!

The assault when on and on until Kushina can't take it anymore,so with muffled scream,she climaxes with the force of thousand suns.

**Mount Olympus, in the place full of Au Naturale Ladies**

Kushina's "agony" reached the ears of The Goddess of Love.  
No that's not entirely true, she keep on watching from the beginning and now furiously caress her kitty with gentle touches.

**"Hmm, what an incredibly talented boy, to be able to bring your own mother to the Holy Realm with just his tongue"**

The Goddess of Love felt generous now, and he want to reward the boy for the show.

**"Oh yes, I can give him something to makes his life better.I know or the facts that his world got absolutely no sexual drives at all, everyone's a prude and the one who embraces the teaching of pleasure are either a hopeless pervert who can't get one normally or didn't want to come out of closet so he use my teaching to camouflage it."**

**Back to The Seal**

Naruto is full now, he can't fit anything anymore so he raise his head and take a look at his Mother  
He really was in trance because the last time he remember his mother is smiling while guiding him through the way of Foreplay.  
Now , her mother is blushing red, her hair is a mess, slanted eyes(Naruto would later know that as Bedroom eyes).She also let out occasional strange voice and Naruto feels it was..Sexy.

"That was the best ever,Sochi!.I'm happy to see you grown so well"Kushina hold the back of his head then stare him in the eyes, full of motherly wisdom.

"Now, the next lesson is kissing, do you know what kissing means?"Kushina direct her clones to do that.

"Err,I've seen it before, isn't it yucky, Kaa-chan?"said Naruto as he watch the clone kissing lovingly.

"There's nothing yucky about that, you silly!.It's the form to express your love to your loved ones, it's only because you're a bystander you felt that way.  
Kissing isn't always done in the lips,you know"Kushina explains

"Really, Kaa-chan?, I thought it always involved those wet sounds and spits flying out anywhere"Well, what do you expect from the kiss in those red-light district?,they literally forget the meaning of "Vanilla".

"That's what you call a sloppy kiss, usually happen when a couple express their happiness after haven't seen each other for so long or in the throes of their passion.  
Initially there are another types of kiss, here's the first one"Kushina kissing Naruto on the forehead.

Minato simply can't believe it, Kushina only now started the explanation about kissing after she teach Naruto all sorts of advanced stuffs?.Priorities Kushina,Priorities!

"Does that kiss just now means something,Kaa-san?Unknown to Kushina,that kiss just now means the world for Naruto.  
He does prank and all those stupid things to get attention from people to save himself from Loneliness.  
Now that he does get one along with the love and intra-familial relation it's like a dream come true for him.

"That was the kiss to express admiration, usually it was the token of friendship or how parent reward their children, it is a kiss without any intention behind it, the pure type of kiss, it also can be the start of something good, like romance" Kushina explains.

"Now, try to do same,Sochi"Naruto tried, a little hesitant but then he go for it, then they smiled to each other.

_"They do have a good have a good vibe around each other"_Minato thought.

_"If Kushina close those sexy melons and ignoring those stains on her skirt, they'll be poetry in motion but you can't have everything in this world"_Minato lamented.

The lesson continues and Minato felt burning jealousy for his Junior, no not that kind of Junior!.His son got all the joy Kushina graciously give and he standing here while his jingle bells starts receiving the shades of blue.

"What are those Butterfly Kiss?,Kiss of an Angel?,The Big Tease?"Minato never have those during his life with Kushina, now his son got them all?

Not to mention,things got a big steamy the moment Kushina introduces the "expert" kind of kiss.  
.Lizard Kiss!,Seductive Kiss!,and all those kisses he desperately want to try now that he know how to.

_"Dear Goddess of love in heaven, or wherever you are, please stop my wife from teaching that form of ultimate kiss, I'll build a shrine for you, gathering nice shota boys if you want to!"_Minato clasp his hand like he's praying.

**Mount Olympus, the place where orgy is as frequent as breathing.**

**"Interesting offer,boy, unfortunately I already got everything I want here and I can get everything if I really want it"**

Aphrodite take a look at the deliciously sinful Mother-Son combo and got an inspiration when she heard Kushina says:

"That's the theory behind French Kiss, you can do it?"Kushina sly smile and confident persona might fool everyone, but in reality it's just a façade, she could feel a great flood coming,she only hope her son not so good at this,  
He's a first timer,right?

"Only one way to find out,Kaa-chan!"Naruto ready to do battle.

Seeing the events, Aphrodite seize the opportunity.

**"Fufufu, enjoy the first gift,boy!.There's more to come but for now defeat your mother at her own game!"**

The confrontation already started when the game informs

**"You've received "The Kissing Master" ability from The Goddess of Lust"**

Poor, poor Kushina.

**Well, that's chapter 3 for ya folks!**

**I'm sorry for the long wait but i'll try to update faster next time.**


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